So I hope you will take a look at the My donate fund raising project which features in today’s blog. However in a nutshell, Mustard Seed Songs are hoping to fund the production of a CD that we are recording with the Portsmouth Gospel Choir who recently sang with Seal in the finals of BBC One’s “Pitch Battle.” Then, with proceeds from sales of the CD which is entitled “How Great Are His Signs,” we intend to build a church in Southern Nigeria- the church leader there is a personal friend called Patrick Oki so I know how important this would be for their community, many of whom are orphans.
Joffy, David and Heavilyn at Ken’s house -recording guides for the Portsmouth Gospel Choir’s first ever CD ” How Great Are His Signs”
“Love Is The Way” – featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album “Love Is The Way” recorded and produced by Bob Ross
Over the next few weeks I will be sharing the amazing adventure that I have been on with Mustard Seed Songs’ Musical Director Joffy and the Portsmouth Gospel Choir (University of Portsmouth.) The Portsmouth Gospel Choir (PGC) were recently finalists in BBC One’s “Pitch Battle” featuring Gareth Malone. They had the privilege of singing with Seal and I now have the privilege of them recording a CD of mustard seed songs. There is so much to share but I just want to start off today with a pic of Joffy, David (Musical Director of PGC) and Heaven (Vocal Director of PGC)
When we were recording guides at “Second Chance House” courtesy of Mick Mellows I noticed these words on a poster and thought I would share them as they link (sort of) with last week’s blog on bullying.
Children Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
“We Are Hard Pressed” featuring Ross Gill and Helen Joy from the album “The Season of Singing” recorded and produced by Ross Gill
As Monty Python would say -“And now for something completely different.”
I have been reminiscing over the past few blogs on my experiences of the Alpha course and of re- affirming my baptism vows. Next week I will be talking about our exciting new CD “ How Great Are His Signs” recorded with the 30 strong Portsmouth University Gospel Choir who were finalists in BBC One’s “Pitch Battle” featuring Gareth Malone- with the choir singing with Seal. However I saw this video clip on Facebook and thought it would be great to share as it shows a fantastic way to overcome bullying and could, therefore be a great help to parents, teachers and of course anyone that has or is suffering the horrors of being bullied.
I am not writing that much this week – just leaving you time to watch the video which I am sure you will find helpful. One thing I will say, however is that I suffered a little bit of bullying while at school but I know many that had a really horrific time. Also while a teacher, I am afraid bullying was pretty much endemic. The standard strategy to combat it was to tell a teacher – which was wise advice but still had the problems of a) how effective the teacher was in dealing with the problem and b) the victim quite justifiably worrying that if they “told” then the bullying would get worse. The strategy dealt with in the video allows the potential victim to take control.
“In Times of Trouble” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album “I Look Up To The Heavens” recorded and produced by John Hodgkinson
I was going to make last week the finish of my reminisces of Alpha. However on Sunday a lovely man named Ali, who is in the Alpha group that I am, at present helping, was baptised. I therefore thought that I would have one more week of reminiscing and tell you how I came to re affirm my own baptism vows. I am using extracts from blog post of April 17th 2014
Many years previously I had been invited by a member of my tutor group- Caroline Berridge I am pretty sure it was- to attend her baptism by full immersion at Holy Rood Church. As she came out of the tank dripping wet in what appeared to be her pyjamas I thought to myself “She is very brave -there is no way you’d catch me doing anything like that – I would be much too embarrassed.” Well as I have explained I became a Christian on Feb 22nd 1997 and not long after I read in the church notice sheet that there was an opportunity to be baptised by full immersion. After a couple of quick enquires I discovered that you can’t be baptised twice. I thought “That’s a relief I have escaped” – you see I had already been baptised (Christened) as a baby. The trouble was shortly afterwards I found out that you can still re- affirm your infant baptism vows.
So I got this feeling inside me that made me think that this was something I should do even if I didn’t fancy it. I thought that as there is safety in numbers I would get others from my Alpha group to be baptised with me- the trouble was none of them wanted to. So I came up with what I thought was a brilliant plan; I would go to the Holy Land and get baptised in the River Jordan just like Jesus. With this great plan I went to my mentor, Mr Mill’s dad, Mr Milliken expecting him to be overjoyed with my idea. Oh no he was not overjoyed at all – Mr Milliken made it quite clear that I had to make a public testimony of my faith to my friends and family and in my local church. My mind flashed back to Caroline Berridge’s dunking – this was going to be so embarrassing but I could see no way out. So I went to see the Vicar, Michael Christian- Edwards to tell him that I wished to reaffirm my baptism vows and that I was prepared (prepared but not happy) to give a testimony.
Holy Rood church was packed- I felt the water in the specially brought in tank – it felt less than tepid. I received encouragement from Mr Mill and his dad, who was going to be my special helper, ready with a towel for me when I emerged; giving what I was sure would be the appearance of a drowned rat.
Anyway before being “dunked” I had to give a testimony – I thought the best thing would be to tell how my fear of death had been taken away (or pretty much taken away) after I had become a Christian. Michael Christian- Edwards had pointed out to me that The Book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus has freed all those who were held in slavery by the power of death- so I quoted this. I also talked about how one day I had gone on my own into Holy Rood after dark and a section of the beautiful stained glass window at the far end was illuminated. The illuminated part was that of Jesus portrayed as the Good Shepherd. I remember staring at this image for some time and feeling really comforted. When I asked how the window had been illuminated no one really had an answer – a timing light was supposed to come on but that was to light the window to the outside – not inside. There may well be a logical explanation but I prefer to believe it was a blessing from God to reassure me that He would always look after me in the same way as a Shepherd looks after his sheep- even when I got lost or went astray.
After I gave my testimony (which was quite long) someone shouted out “Hallelujah” I remember feeling really chuffed about this – I know I probably should not have felt proud but I did.
So on May 18th 1997 into the “tub” I went – I was taken backwards into the water by Michael Christian -Edwards. In the end I wasn’t in the least bit embarrassed coming out drenched -in fact I was exhilarated – Mr Milliken was there with a towel and these words for me “So do not fear for I am with you be not dismayed for you are my God I will comfort you and help you I will uphold you with my righteous hand” I later found this to be from the Book of Isaiah Chapter 42:11 These words have remained especially dear to me and when my lovely wife Caroline was baptised in the sea in September 2011 I said the same words over her. They also form part of this week’s featured song “In Times of Trouble” Somehow, and I cannot remember the story exactly, this song was adopted by the son of the Chief of The Karen tribe of Myanmar (Burma.) These people have long been persecuted.
Other people said prayers out loud for me and I particularly remember Paul Knight, who had first invited me to the Alpha course pray that I would become a “Fisher of men” I felt humbled and joyful – it was a wonderful, unforgettable experience.
“If I Say I Love You Jesus” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album “Precious” recorded and produced by Ross Gill
So last week I was telling you that after that first night on the Alpha course I came back the following week and then the next and the next. I began to think that I wanted to become a Christian – I felt reassured by the words in John’s Gospel, Chapter 3 verse 16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” Eternal Life – that is what I needed to take away my fear of death. Not something to be earned but something to be accepted as a gift. Perfect – apart from two problems 1) did I have enough faith to accept Jesus” gift” with any degree of sincerity? 2) If I did ask Jesus into my life what would my mates say- how much ridicule would I have to endure? Let me have a look at problem no 2 first.
Three of my very special friends are Barry Stares, Dave Conchie and Ian Beacham. Barry I have known since Junior School and Dave and Ian since PE College. We regularly meet for a drink and something to eat (yes curry) At one curry Ian said “You will never guess what’s happened to Mick” He was referring to another ex-PE College friend, Mick Mellows who played football for Pompey and who is now a Director of the charity Faith and Football -www.faith&football.org.uk . I thought Ian meant that Mick had been struck down with some horrible illness but no that is not what he meant at all. He continued “He’s only gone and become a Christian!” To which Dave replied “No – and he was such a good bloke!”
Could I face that sort of comment if I “admitted” to becoming a Christian? I really doubted it.
As for problem no 1 re did I have enough faith? – Well thankfully someone told me I only had to have faith as small as a mustard seed (the smallest of all seeds in Biblical times.) I simply had to focus on what I believed not on what I did not – simply had to trust – simply had to take a “leap of faith”
During the Alpha course I had been given a little red book entitled “Why Jesus?” (as featured in pic) At the end of the book there is a prayer so I knew an opportunity was coming up for me to take that leap of faith and to say this prayer asking Jesus to come into my life. I felt it really difficult to sleep with my two “problems” constantly churning around inside my head. The weekend came when I knew I had to make a decision – as part of the Alpha Course I was at the Holy Rood Vicarage with the Vicar, Michael Christian- Edwards and his lovely wife Merlyn. When the others in my group were having a coffee break I escaped into the village to go through in my head what I was going to do. On my return sure enough Michael gave everyone the opportunity to say a prayer asking Jesus to forgive us for all the things we had done wrong – to ask Him to come into our lives- and for us to be filled with His Holy Spirit. I remember asking Michael if I could say the prayer twice. He seemed surprised but said that was fine and so that lunchtime on Saturday, February 22nd 1997 I asked Jesus into my life and became a Christian.
Why did I want to say the prayer twice? Well there was Mr Mill and his dad that I also wanted to be there on such a momentous occasion. So that evening in Mr Mil’s apartment in Titchfield I sat between the two of them confessing out loud all the things I had done wrong and again asking Jesus into my life. Some of the things I had done wrong were pretty big – one had been a real burden for many years but after I had confessed it the burden lifted- I know that sounds amazing and too good to be true but amazing is what it was and too good not to be true!
So I thought “micky taking” here you come, but I decided to be pro-active and tell people before they found out through the grapevine. First off was Barry who I had known the longest -he was surprisingly supportive – so too was Ian – but I could not tell Dave, it was Dave who had made the comment about Mick Mellows – he was sure to let me have it with both barrels. A couple of months later Barry and Ian told me that Dave was really upset with me for not telling him. So I took Dave out for a curry (of course) and felt pretty emotional when Dave told me that he loved me (in a bloke way!!) and that he would always support me in anything I did and that he was upset because it seemed that I did not believe I could trust him. So big apology from me and really all the worries about people “taking the mick” turned out to be groundless- mind you I think my two sons James and Chris took a bit of stick at school.
So did my fears of dying die (sorry) If I am honest not entirely – but I did have God’s promise to hold on to and you can’t have much more than that. In fact later I wrote a song called “It’s From the Lord” which is on our CD “Heart and Soul” – the last verse of which is “When your time on earth is ending and you look up to Him on high and your see His promises sparkling spelt out in stars across the sky and open arms reach to embrace you to welcome you home then you know, yes you know it is the Lord.”
I also wrote a song which was a sort of autobiography of me becoming a Christian and being worried about what people would think – this one is on the CD “Precious” and is called “If I Say I Love You Jesus” I did actually once sing it live myself at a Mustard Seed Concert but here it is sung by Lucy Stimpson-Maynard.
“Bathe Me In Your Light.” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album ” I Look Up To The Heavens” recorded and produced by John Hodgkinson
So we are now well into the Alpha courses that are being run around the country which is reminding me of my first Alpha course of 20 years ago. So I continue to take extracts from my blog of 2014 to share my experiences carrying on from where I left off last week.
So I was knocked out with the simplicity and absolute belief that Mr Milliken (Mr Mill’s dad) had when he said “Yes” to my question as to whether his wife, who had died two years previously, was in heaven. I took Mr Milliken back to his sheltered accommodation in Titchfield, not too far from the venue for the Heat Discos and, with my son Chris, listened in awe to his stories of being a Missionary in the Belgium Congo.
The next day I rang Mr Mill to say how amazing I thought his dad was – he of course agreed with me. I told Mr Mill that I felt I wanted to go to Midnight Mass that evening and would he come with me. Mr Mill said that his church did not do Midnight Mass but that he would go with me to the church near Crofton School – Holy Rood.
Now most Christmas Eves I would be down the local pubs to have more than a few beers with ex- students so I was rather embarrassed about missing out the Red Lion and going “next door.” However I thought it would be worth it as the heavens would, no doubt, open up for me and I would experience something “spiritual. ” However nothing happened in the service apart from the singing of “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” and a sermon on the visit of the Wise Men ( I know that does not sound very complimentary to Holy Rood but it does get better I promise!) At the end of the service a member of Crofton School’s Senior Leadership, Paul Knight, told me he was doing an Alpha Course and would I like to go. I thought “No Way!” Paul is now a dear friend but at that time he was simply a member of the Senior Leadership Team so there was no chance of me going to an Alpha course led by him.
All that Christmas holiday I kept bumping into Paul – every time I was invited to a mince pie afternoon he would be there and each time ask the same thing – would I go on an Alpha Course? It turned out that he was not actually leading the course – just attending. He also said that my old mate Paul Hiscock of the Tech department was going so I did soften a bit but not enough to say “Yes.” At the final mince pie afternoon Paul asked me again and exasperated I said “Paul I can’t make Wednesdays – I am coaching Basketball” He replied “It’s on a Tuesday.” I was speechless – I had run out of excuses and so found myself one Tuesday passing the Red Lion and praying (well not really) that I would not be seen going into the Church opposite to my first Alpha night.
I was greeted by a smiling person (obviously a “Do gooder” I thought) and presented with a badge with my name on it. I expected everyone to be wearing Jesus sandals and when I saw that someone actually was I decided to beat a hasty retreat. Paul Hiscock had been trapped by the Vicar so no help there – but then I smelt the curry. Now curry is the staple diet of PE students and teachers so I decided to delay by escape until after I had sampled the curry.
During the Chicken Korma I spoke to a lovely lady called Margaret who asked me what I was doing there and when I had difficulty in answering, reassured me that she too was unsure why she was there.
Tasty curry over – perhaps I should give the Vicar a chance? He looked a pretty cool guy and was not wearing a dog collar – not that I had a problem with that – So here we go to the ice cold pews for a boring sermon on Christ dying for my sins just like my past experiences as a choir boy. Actually no not at all! We went upstairs in the Church Centre to a warm and pleasant room with sofas – all rather nice and relaxing. The Vicar, Michael Christian- Edwards (appropriate name I thought) who has also become a dear friend started off with a joke and quite a good one at that – the laughter relaxed everyone and then Michael talked about whether or not Jesus really did exist. I really enjoyed the talk and even more the opportunity to ask questions afterwards- which I did in abundance. What about this and what about that – Michael answered all my questions with patience and great knowledge. I went home thinking I wonder? But there was no way really that I could ever become a Christian – what would my mates say? I would be a laughing stock – “Jesus Freak” and “Bible Basher.” However I went back the next week and then the next and then the next and then, and then – well I’ll tell you that in next week’s blog
Alpha meal at Holy Rood,Stubbington
Harbour Church, Portsmouth – Alpha
“Father Let Your Spirit Fall Upon Me” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album I Look Up To The Heavens – recorded and produced by John Hodginson
We are now three weeks into the Alpha course – the featured pics show how my church of Holy Rood, Stubbington is set up for Alpha and also how it is set up at Harbour Church, Portsmouth which I visited on Sunday.
All this reminds me of my first Alpha course many years ago- 20 in fact! I thought I would share again with you how it all happened taking extracts from early editions of this blog posted back in 2014
I was not so much worried about how I died, although I did quite fancy being a hero and rescuing someone from drowning or from a blazing inferno (as long as it did not hurt too much) No I was worried about what happened after I died. Some friends asked why I worried as I would not know anything about it – it would be the same as it was before I had been born or it would be just like switching off a light bulb. However the thought of no existence- just switching off to nothing freaked me out. When I was about 15 years old I broke my leg playing football – it ached and ached for about two weeks afterwards and then someone visited me who had previously broken his leg but who told me it stopped hurting after a couple of days. So dear mum took me back to the hospital to have another x ray and the bone was found to be still apart – I think they forgot to set it. So I had to have a “Denham Compression Plate” fitted which was screwed into the whole length of my tibia. The operation took about six hours but after they put the needle in with the anesthetic and I counted to ten I woke up straight away – of course I did not it just seemed that way- my brain had been shut down for six hours- I had no knowledge of existence and that is what I thought being dead might be like and that scared me to death (sorry)
That experience had such an effect on me that I have never had a general anesthetic since- even opting for a local when I had a hernia op.
On the other hand there was of course the possibility that death is not the end, in which case what comes next? Reincarnation did not work for me so what about going to heaven or heaven forbid (sorry again) hell? I had studied RE for O Level and also for A Level (on the few occasions I attended 6th Form) I had also been a choir boy and had been confirmed into the Church of England so I knew the basics of the Christian faith although I could never work out how Christ being crucified could “save me from my sins” However I would always say that I believed in God but now I was beginning to realise that I had to decide whether I really did as He seemed to be the only one who could sort out this death issue for me.
My dear friend Bob Milliken (the legend that is Mr Mill) had, I later found out, been praying for me for eight years, not non -stop of course, but nevertheless showing real perseverance. He kept putting Christian literature in my pigeon hole at school -for example testimonies of famous sportspeople who were Christians. I never really read them, although because of my respect for Mr Mill I never threw them away.
One day at the end of term Bob invited me to go to his church in Paulsgrove. As it was a Christmas Service I thought I would go and sing a few Carols and that would appease him. So I went with my son Chris assuring him that we would only have to sing “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” listen to a sermon on the Wise Men and then we could come home.
You can imagine my shock when the Pastor (it was a Baptist Church) started talking not about The Wise Men but about death- he got my undivided attention and it seemed like I was the only person in the church and so the only one the Pastor was talking to. At the end of the service Bob introduced me to the old gentleman who had been sitting to my left – his dad. Bob went off to talk to someone and I chatted to his dad, obviously also called Mr Milliken. Mr Milliken told me that he had been a Missionary in the Belgium Congo and that he and his wife had evangelised the natives by singing hymns to them around camp fires; his wife playing a squeeze box. I knew that his wife, Bob’s mum, had died about two years previously and I found myself asking “Oh is Mr Milliken replied, not with a “God willing” or “That’s a nice thought.” He simply replied with one word and it was the one word that began to change my life – “Yes”
Next blog I will tell you how I responded to Mr Milliken’s “Yes”
“I Sing This Song Of Love For You” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album ” I Look Up To The Heavens” recorded and produced by John Hodgkinson
So what is happening in the world of Mustard Seed Songs?
Well a number of things- the full stage production and film of Risen! The Musical is being itranlsated into a number of languages so that subtitles can be added to the film- so far we have finished translations into Mandarin and Romanian with Vietnamese, Spanish and Farsi on the way.
We are in the process of producing a brand new Gospel CD with the Portsmouth University Gospel Choir who sang with Seal in the final of BBC One’s “Pitch Battle” featuring Gareth Malone. More of that soon I hope.
We have started putting together a sequel to Risen! which has a working title of Acts- as you may guess it is based on the Acts of the Apostles. Todays featured pic/video clip shows Joffy Girling recording vocals from Alex Knox at my house. Alex is singing all the parts for these guide vocals which we trust will later become another full blown musical or at least a musical concert.
At present most of our energy is directed to a tour of Primary schools of our children’s version of Risen! I am speaking with Head teachers encouraging them to book (we need 15 schools) Caroline Wethefelt, who played Mary Mother of Jesus in the Risen! film, is gathering 5 actors from the London Touring Cast – I am looking at Airbnb for a month’s accommodation for them. Also hiring a suitable van – looking at how to build a stage set etc etc. All great fun – oh and also applying for a grant from the Arts Council – here is our basic request to them- the full application is somewhat longer!! –
A pilot tour of a children’s interactive production of Mustard Seed Songs’ (reg. charity no 1077618) widely acclaimed Risen! The Musical, together with workshops on dance, singing and acting. The tour to encompass 15 Primary schools on the south coast between February 26th and March 16th 2018 reaching an estimated 3000 children aged 7- 11 with the vision to extend this to a minimum 6000 in 2019 and 9000 in 2020.
I wrote the script which is based on the Easter story and features a professional cast of 5 from the London Touring Cast who performed in the Risen! The Musical stage production and film. The aim is to foster an appreciation of musical theatre in children and to raise the profile of Risen! The Musical.
“Father Help Me Acknowledge You” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album “I Look Up To The Heavens” recorded and produced by John Hodgkinson
Last week I began to share an article “Unleash a Greater Power” that Bear wrote in the magazine GQ. Here is the final part:
For many years I tried to do without it (faith that is) I tried to be strong only in myself but the truth is that I I’m not – I need a helping hand, a peace within and a quiet assurance for my future. I have finally found the courage to admit that my longing for this life within me is stronger than the fear of what others may think. I am no longer too proud to admit that I need my Saviour beside me.
Does that make my faith a crutch? Maybe but what does a crutch do? It helps you stand and makes you stronger. So yes when I face overwhelming odds I need a bit of that. And when I look at my own heroes, like my late father or Nelson Mandela I realise that there aren’t many of them who at some time quietly bent their knee and looked outside themselves for strength, resolve and peace.
Personally I find faith in Christianity. You might find it elsewhere. The name we give it is less important that the outpouring that comes from it. Faith helps us to be kinder and more adventurous than we imagined, to care and encourage, to love and inspire. It’s about finding our mojo and I believe it is hard to do that without some spiritually.
To those who feel cynical about such a message, I hear you but just as it is easier to have faith in the Southern Ocean it’s also easier to be cynical when everything is going your way. To have faith in our everyday takes courage. All too often it is the tougher path, but life and the wild have taught me that the tougher path often ends up being the most fulfilling one.
Pioneers always take bold steps to explore new territory because they never know where it may lead them. Every fresh challenge offers new opportunities for you to develop your adventurous spirit and inner strength- so be brave, embrace faith wherever you may find it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Of course one question to come from this article is that although Bear is encouraging people to have faith in more than simply ourselves, and he himself has a Christian faith – does that mean that faith in something other than Jesus, for example another religious faith is sufficient- as long as it is faith? I suppose the answer to that question would be, who or what can we have faith in that is more worthy of that faith than Jesus?
“I Will Tell” featuring Lucy Stimpson- Maynard from the album “I Look Up To The Heavens” recorded and produced by John Hodgkinson
Last week I shared a video clip of Bear Gryll’s promotion of Alpha called “My Greatest Adventure” and this week I would like to share an article “Unleash a Greater Power” that Bear wrote in the magazine GQ.
Sir Robin- Knox Johnson the famous round the world sailor is alleged to have said “There is no such thing as an atheist in the Southern Ocean.” I have also heard it paraphrased to include the “Death Zone” on Everest.
I am sure there have been plenty of atheists in both places but the point he made, and I agree is that when we are truly afraid and there is no one around to help us, to possess a quiet faith can give us persistence, light and courage that is so much greater than simply ourselves. In short faith can make us strong. Just look at how many inspirational figures of generations gone by, who gave and endured so much were sustained and encouraged by their faith.
But what is faith? Is it real and does it matter? Can it make a difference to the everyday grind of life? I can only talk from experience. For me having a Christian faith can be difficult to articulate. It’s like describing ice cream or swimming- it has to be tried to be felt. But in a nutshell my faith tells me that I am known, that I am secure and that I am loved- regardless of the storms I may find myself in from time to time, regardless of how often I fall and fail.
In my life I have yet to meet a man or woman not open to being loved and forgiven. Who doesn’t want to find peace or live with joy overflowing? But I meet so many people who do not want “religion” as such. I get it- I feel the same. And in fact so did Jesus, the heart of all Christian faith. Faith and religion are not the same thing.
The Jesus I read about in the Bible was fun, free and wild. He loved a party and he always hung out with the non -religious folk. The only people he ever got angry with were the overly religious types.
Faith does not mean you have to be overly “religious” and it certainly is not about churches or feeling judged for our flaws. To quote the man himself Jesus said He was all about life: living it freely and lightly and learning the unforced rhythms of grace.
For many years I tried to do without it ………………………………………………………………… TBC
